“In our society, the women who break down barriers are those who ignore limits.”
-Arnold Schwarzenegger
Touché Arnold…
Oh our dreaded society… how I’m grateful for all you’ve taught….
Well hello my fellow reader, I have quite the question for you…
What is the gender role for a female specimen?
->For those not familiar, gender role in society means how we’re expected to act, speak, dress, groom, and conduct ourselves based upon our assigned sex.
Typically for females:
-Polite
-Accommodating
-Dress in feminine ways
-Nurturing
-Dependent
For the heck of it, for Males:
-Strong
-Aggressive
-Bold
-Independent
Yes, there are many others you can add, and quite frankly I don’t care. I'm curious, is it wrong for a female to have all those feminine qualities but also be strong, aggressive, bold and independent?
Of course it isn’t. However sadly that’s not how things are perceived in the real world.
Growing up, I was always the Tom Boy. I enjoyed rough housing with the guys, quite frankly, I had one girl with which I was slightly friends with and the rest were men. I hated to play with dolls, wasn’t highly emotional, enjoyed video games, but loved to at the same to play make-believe and cook.
I constantly noticed I never fit in, always was considered an outcast and quite frankly I didn’t enjoy a lot of company and never was comfortable in prolonged nonsense conversations. At the same time, I was confused on why people didn’t like me and viewed me differently. I was bullied, called mean names, and quite frankly viewed as weird. I wasn’t that girl in dresses, giggling away and flirting with the boys. I was the kid with her head buried in a story, chemistry equations, and history books. Yes, I also was kid that had an obsession with watching movies.
Somewhere in my obsession I then stumbled upon martial arts movies. I remember as if it was yesterday, watching this skillful warrior holding this majestic sword and defending his nation and love. The meaning and storyline brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful, his passion, his ambition, his vigor, and how he fought for what he believed in. From that day forward, I was obsessed, watched every martial arts movie you can probably think of, still had a lingering obsession with this sword, later learning it’s a Katana. I made a promise to myself that one day I will master this weapon-quite the youngling I was.
Before I continue this, want to make sure something is clear. If you’re an ultra girly female, there is NOTHING wrong with that. To each their own, my purpose is to bring light upon those females that can wear a black dress and at the same time jump in gym clothing and kick ass.
So continuing…
Throughout my bulling years and isolation, I dedicated myself towards the learning of cultures, the world, psychology, and any other subject I may have found interesting at that time. I remember the constant, “you need to be more feminine, go out with girls, how will you ever find a boyfriend?”
All I desired was to continue to learn, grow as a human being, and conquer the world. This ambition and desire led to constant anxiety. I felt pressured by society and family, but knew deep inside that I was called to do so much more.
About two years ago, I restarted to watch the martial arts movies I absolutely adored and a strange passion arose inside of me again. My fascination with the Katana was rekindled. At this time, I was 24, failed in a few business ventures, and was confused about who I am as an individual and what my purpose in life will be. I honestly was terrified I’d die before creating and leaving a legacy and impact on this planet.
Anyone ever felt this way?
This anxiety brought me into a deep depression. Made horrific decisions and honestly abandoned a lot of my goals and ideas. Thought to myself that maybe this is all wrong, a female shouldn’t have ambition, she shouldn’t be strong, she needs to be girly and wait for this man to build a family with and take care of them.
The utter thought of being a married stay at home mother, and never accomplish any of my passions terrified me even more. I didn’t know where to start or what to do.
This depression led me to the art of self-improvement and I immediately delved into books, meditations, history, and began searching for a martial arts. I thought about martial arts because of the nature they had in the movies. They had ambition but also loved, they were calm when under pressure, and had accomplished so much while also appreciating the little things. I needed to somehow come upon this enlightenment.
I was looking for a martial art that was more than just physical. I wanted and NEEDED a spiritual, mental, and physical art. One that challenged me in every area, I knew if I didn’t find this I would never fully dedicate my being.
I remember researching the deadliest martial arts in the world. Yes, if I partake in something, I want to make sure I can kick ass.. lol There were quite a few interesting ones on there, most interesting was the Ninja. I was intrigued; Ninjas were swift on their feet, intelligent, masters at gathering information and camouflage. Perfect I thought, then I was like @##$?! Where am I going to find an authentic class, I don’t live in Japan!
Through research I stumbled upon a dojo, this dojo was in Orlando. After procrastinating for a year, due to the hour and a half drive each way; I finally contacted the dojo stating I wanted to come in for a class. I remember walking in, quite frankly tried to convince myself to not go in the dojo as I was sitting outside in my car. Laughed at myself when I realized how irrational I was being and walked in…
That day has forever impacted and changed my life.
For a long time, I believed –society is to blame- that a martial art wasn’t for females and only for men. I was taught to believe that a woman shouldn’t be in a practice where she is fighting, she should be honing her skills to become a wife.
From the moment I walked in, the different level of respect I had received. The intellect, culture, passion, and ambition each student and instructor was absolutely beautiful. No one judged me for being a woman; they actually viewed me as an equal. The students didn’t hold back and I was even frank with them that I didn’t want them too.
This journey has helped me understand myself on a deeper level. Understand my mind, how is works, how to master it and use it to create good while also giving back. It teaches you perseverance, loyalty, passion, dedication, respect, how to love yourself, and self defense…
ps: these are also good qualities for a wife and a mother!
A female or male shouldn’t be judged on how they act or what they do based off of their sex. Ladies and Gentlemen: Ninpo/Ninjutsu, is a martial arts that challenges you to become the best version of yourself. It will make you grow in ways you’ve never thought possible. Challenge you past your limitations, have you seek the actual truth and not just the opinion in this world that we reside.
